a journal of occurrences
*a note, posted from where I'm editing & publishing this, in Niedlov's Café, Chattanooga, Tennessee on October 21, 2022 — The below piece comes from a phone-typed memo on my notes app. I wrote it with very cold thumbs in response to the free writing prompt, "A journal of occurrences." I think the time for the free write was seven minutes ... So the below was written in seven minutes without stopping my numb thumbs moving, sitting out in the snow where my fellow adventurer also sat writing in his notebook. Though it was free-written, I've revised it for clarity and flow :)
Wayfarer’s chapel with W
(up North Fork west of Cody, Wyoming)
January 20 something 2021
snow faces and snow boots
dogs that pant and wade and root
through drifts and into burrows
through grass heavy with white
all searches must be thorough.
dark wanderings and tunnel vision
down rabbit holes, up to where collisions
of good and bad desires take place:
there are two sides to every face.
it wasn’t just a batman villain or
the name of our half manx-tailed cat
call me Two Face just like she was
dark and light, left and right
diving underground, soaring to heights
reached on snow-draped mountain peaks
rain heavy sky clouds all the way down
to where water runs from drains and leaks
the deep places where death seeps
after life, to be blown into being again
breathe
inhale, exhale
light, dark
in, out
life, death
The Journal of Occurrences chronicles them all
i want to see what it’s really like to be human
says the goddess
show me.
yet we continue to hide
certain parts we refuse to call life
experience, like the want to know strife
the experiences of killing and being killed
you know we all will.
i want it all wild and free
free to see what free imagination
imagines through me
my life shows me that:
soft sunshine slushing crystalline snow
bringing friends to holy places
Chapels of Wayfarers and high trees where hatches
free ideas and freely given laughter and
baby eagles who will soar these skies hereafter
leaving nests to glide the whole world's rafters
there’s so much more occurring
than we let ourselves see
i’ll show you mine if you show yours to me
first i’ve got to show myself my own
dark corridors, i’m interested, let’s go
the wayfarers prison, a place i want to know
just as much as the chapel, you know
any place or preference can exalt or imprison us:
it does what we desire of it.
desires always set us free unless we don’t let them be
then they imprison us because we asked them to
what would it be like for me, for you
to be imprisoned by forces we're forbidden to feel
let's be real about how well we know that deal
now what would it be like to exalt
all states into something worth desiring
sometimes we go down the dark rabbit hole
to emerge into light so bright it's blinding
searing acknowledgement we want the whole
because dark and constricted, trapped and confused
these are beautiful too. here i am trying to show you
everything you wanted: it’s all before you
journal the occurrences to see the currency
your unconscious brings to you
rich in ripe fruits of your desires
you love the world of fruits, those places that are higher
go visit the roots that feed the manifestation of all desire tell me really ~
what’s it like to be alive?
i want to soar
and also to dive
i want to thrive
and know the struggle to survive
i'm already ready to go
though really i’ve just arrived
...instagram version
snow faces, snow boots dogs pant, wade, root through drifts & into burrows all searches thorough. dark wanderings & tunnel vision down rabbit holes, up to collisions good & bad desires grace: two sides to every face. wasn’t just a batman villain or name of our half manx-tailed cat call me Two Face like she was dark, light, left, right dive underground, soar to heights on snow-draped mountain peaks rain heavy sky clouds all the way down to water running from drains & leaks deep places where death seeps after life, blown to being again
The Journal of Occurrences chronicles them all what's it like to be human? says the goddess show me. we still hide parts we won’t call life experience i want it all wild & free see what free imagination imagines through me life shows: soft sunslush crystalline snow friends in holy places Chapels of Wayfarers where hatches free ideas & freely given laughter & baby eagles who soar hereafter from nests to glide world's rafters so much more occurring than we let ourselves see i’ll show you mine; show yours to me first i show myself my own dark corridors, i’m interested, let’s go wayfarer’s prison, i want to know as much as chapel, you know any place exalts or imprisons us: it does what we desire of it. desires set us free unless we don’t let them be what would it be like for you & me to be imprisoned by forces we're forbidden to feel let's be real — we know that deal what would it be like to exalt all states into worthy of desire we go down a dark rabbit hole emerge into light so bright it blinds searing truth: we want the whole dark, constricted, trapped, confused these are beautiful too. here i am trying to show you everything you want: before you journal occurrences; see currency unconscious brings you rich in desire’s ripe fruits you love fruits, which hang higher roots feed manifestation of desire what’s it like to be alive? i want to soar & to dive i want to thrive & struggle to survive i'm ready to go i’ve just arrived